Full of parties, dancing and masti, a Punjabi wedding is packed with fun, celebrations and beautiful rituals.?Brides and grooms commit to each other as equals.
1. The Chooda ceremony
The bride's wedding preparations begin with one of the most beautiful bridal rituals, the Chooda ceremony. Her mama (maternal uncle) will give her a set of 21 maroon and cream chooda, or bangles, which are purified with milk and rose petals before she slides them onto her wrist. Chooda is a vital part of a Punjabi bride’s solah shringar; one of the 16 ornaments a bride wears to accentuate her beauty. The bride's family give their blessings by touching the chooda before a white cloth is then wrapped around the set. The bride won't see them again until her wedding.
2. The jaago
Centuries ago, before social media, texts or even a decent postal system, families didn't send out invites to tell guests about a wedding. Instead, the couple's relatives would travel around the village the night before the wedding with pots on their head decorated with oil candles, singing and dancing as an open invitation for everyone to attend the Big Day. The traditional folk song sung was 'jaago', which means 'wake up', which they would sing at the top of their lungs to encourage neighbours to rise and join the celebrations. The tradition is alive today; a copper or brass vessel called khadaa is decorated with diva (clay lamps) filled with mustard oil before being lit and balances on the head of the bride or groom's mami (maternal aunt) while dancing. It’s a fun, raucous night with food and fireworks and lasts well into the wee hours so these days, families leave a day inbetween to recover!
3. Milni
When a couple decide to tie the knot, it’s about more than two people - it's the union of families. Milni, which literally means 'meeting', is how both families are formally introduced before the ceremony. The groom arrives at the Gurdwara with his family to meet the bride's relatives, sometimes for the first time. The father of the groom will embrace the father of the bride, then the mothers of the bride and groom, and so on. Garlands are exchanged along with hugs and it’s customary to try and lift the other person completely off the ground. The groom hands out Karah Prashad (a sacred sweet) to guests. Everyone enjoys light snacks and tea before the ceremony gets underway.
4. Juti Chupai
Juti chupai literally means 'hiding the shoes'. It’s a game the bride’s sisters will play by by running off with the groom’s shoes. To get his shoes back, the groom gives the girls rings called ‘kaleechris’ and cash. This custom goes back to the old days way of breaking the ice between the two new families in an arranged marriage.
5. Anand Karaj
This is the poetic name of the wedding ceremony, and translates as ‘Blissful Event’.
The groom waits on a decorated platform for his bride, who enters accompanied by her close male relatives. She joins him on stage and the couple exchange garlands. This ritual comes with some humour as both try to avoid the bowing of the groom when getting the garland because if he bows now, it’s thought that he will continue to bow to her for the rest of their lives.
6. Lavan
Guru Ram Das, the fourth Guru of the Sikhs wrote the Laava, the formula for a successful marriage. Lavan, or the four hymns of ‘Laav,’ are the vital part of Anand Karaj and are sung as the couple make four rounds around the Siri Guru Granth Sahib. These four Shabads (stanzas), describe the sacred journey of the soul through this world to the final destination, which if followed correctly, will lead to Anand (Bliss). The final round describes a spiritual union of love and devotion for eternity, and once completed, the couple are married. Everyone, including the bride and groom, sit on a lower level to the book as a mark of respect.
7. Ardaas and Sagaan
Once the bride and groom have completed Lavan, their families and friends will stand, press their hands together and recite an Ardaas, a humble prayer that takes place at the beginning or end of any religious ceremony. This solemn moment is followed by Hukamnama, a hymn selected at random from Sri Guru Granth Sahib. Finally, the Sagaan; the groom’s parents place a garland around the couple, give them money (Sagaan) and feed them barfi (sweets). The bride’s parents do the same before placing a whole coconut in the groom’s palla (scarf).
8. Ribbon cutting
After the wedding is finished the newlyweds travel to the bride’s home so she can say goodbye to her relatives before she heads off to her new home with her husband. However, there’s time for a few more fun and games as the bride's female siblings, friends and cousins have fun with the new groom.
They string a long red ribbon across the entrance of the house to prevent him from getting in.
He's now at their mercy and must barter and bargain with the girls if he wants to enter, eventually paying a fee and cutting the ribbon with a pair of scissors as the gathered crowd cheer loudly.
9. Doli Muklava
Doli Muklava marks the bride’s change of residence. Guests sing sad farewell songs as she says goodbye to her relatives and throws puffed rice over her head to convey good wishes for her parents and to thank them for everything they have done for her. She traditionally departs in a decorated palanquin (doli) carried by her brothers or male cousins with relatives throwing coins for prosperity.
Her mother in-law will not attend the Doli as she is busy preparing to greet the newlyweds at home. She welcomes the bride with a glass of water which is circled thrice around her bahu before offering it to her, as a symbol of her acceptance of her newest daughter.
10. Muklava
Time to say goodbye! In the past, the bride would be carried off to her new home in a doli, but these days couples choose a lavishly decorated car to transport the new bride. The male members of her family gather at the bumper to give the car a little push to send her on to her new home, and her new life.
Photos by: Kam Dhiman • 44(0)751 4636 962 • www.kamdhiman.com